You know, my girlfriend used to think that I was being funny about the whole ‘Australian internet is worse than Thailand’s’ thing. She genuinely thought that our internet, being a developed nation and all, had an average internet speed that was at least bearable.
And when she got here, she found out how wrong she was.
Almost three years have passed since the National Broadband Network plan was thrown into the public eye, promising fibre/copper wire hybrid broadband lines that would allow customers to download to their hearts content at speeds of up to 100mbps. But unfortunately this Aussie gamer’s godsend is yet to be fully implemented into all suburban areas within my state, my local area included.
Hell, I can’t even get Firefox to work properly with our current internet plan. Despite having an ADSL2+ connection, our maximum download speed appears to only be a severely gimped 220kbps. And if you think THAT is bad, you wouldn’t want me to tell you about our upload speed.
Yup. Life in Australia is pretty darn tough. Oh well. Looks like I won’t be Twitch streaming or uploading YouTube clips any time soon.
First of all, please excuse the title. It’s the first thing that came to mind. You would think that after all this time, what with my complete and utter lack of posts and blogging, that I would write something a bit more relevant like “I’M BACK!” or “Hope I Still Have Followers!” or even “Dude, Where’s My Blog?”
The fact that I frequently wear blue nowadays might not sound relevant at all, but it DOES tie into why I have been absent. Or at least very loosely. Oh well, we both know that I like a bit of a challenge. So without further adue, let me give you the whole lowdown as to why I’ve been so utterly absent.
A Meeting in Lover’s Arrival
Some of you that follow me might’ve known that I am in a long distance relationship with a lovely lady from another continent. Well, just a few weeks ago, we had our first meeting after two years strong. That’s right! Two years of Skyping, screen sharing, FaceTiming and the occasional dash of online gaming culminating in an actual face-to-face meeting Down Under. ‘Two Weeks with the Waifu: In the Flesh!’ is what I would call it if it were a comic or a manga or something.
Never been more motivated or encouraged to wear blue clothing before, either. Tis the lady’s favourite choice of hue. Heck, I even bought a rocking denim jacket for the first meeting. I normally don’t like to wear blue but it’s kinda growing on me. I guess that makes me a True BLUE Aussie now, huh? No? That’s fine, I’ll show myself out.
So yeah, she came around. We travelled about. We went to a zoo where the Aussie animals all seemed to be either asleep or hiding. But if you went to the zoo to obseve the average Pokemon GO player, you would not have been disappointed. We certainly weren’t. The next step will involve my own trecherous expedition to the New World, that is, the United States. I’m all sorts of anxious and excited but that ain’t gonna deter me from setting out for a damn good holiday. At least I won’t have to learn another language!
Oh yeah, speaking of languages that I don’t understand, academia. Yes? No, that was a pretty bad joke. Awful segue too. But the pun in the title should say it all for I have officially graduated from my tertiary studies with a diploma, a degree and a tear in my eye!
You’d think after doing two courses, one TAFE and the other from a university, that I would wanna maybe take a break or something. Maybe get a year off to my self before attempting anything else. But like they say, there’s no rest for the wicked on the count of my possible pathway of enduring further studies. That way, I can have TWO degrees. The metaphorical stuffed crust of any resume!
I seem to be running out of steam here. I will admit that I completely forgot about the blog altogether. But after remembering it in an ‘OH SHIT!’ kind of moment, I thought I would check out the News Feed and also make a post to kinda say ‘Hey, I’m not dead, nu-uh.”
No promises on a post anytime soon but I really do hope to get back into the swing of things between job searching, life planning and weekend partying. A cold one downed for every lovely follower!
Seriously, more than 130? I don’t remember having this many! Kudos and thank you!
Oh and P.S: I finally got that new phone. Posting on the go is probably easier than ever now. Can’t wait to read about what everyone’s up to!
Not that it should be considered as such, since everyone, their mothers and their dogs seemed to know about this one particular feature. But you know that thing that you can do with your phone on SnapChat? The one where you’re taking an ordinairy selfie only to have your recently captured picture self spewing rainbows? Well, yeah. That’s a thing. I only found out about this a week ago at a party.
“But Dandy, ya numbskull!” You wail, gork and snort. “This feature has been present in SnapChat for AGES! How could you only find out about it now?”
And that’s a darn good question, Mr/Mrs/Ms. Disembodied Voice over the Internet! But the answer is the real kicker.
It’s one word. ‘iOS7’
… well, that’s not really a word. More like an acronym. But yeah, you get what I mean.
Hey, don’t beat yourself up about any past social networking blunders you might’ve made.
This one time, I was trying to notify my followers of a new video via direct messages and instead, I accidentally made a group conversation between all three hundred of my followers at the time. Pretty much everyone left shortly after the conversation was made. God, I felt like such a clumsy cucumber. I think I even lost followers because of it, too.
What about yourselves? Have you ever found yourself making an inexcusable error on the Twitters or the Facebooks?
Writing poetry is something that sorta comes very naturally to me. Every now and then, I get completely swept up in this spontaneos desire to jot down some soothing verses. But usually, it almost always contains one of two topics; Knights and the wind.
No really, I wrote this five minutes ago. Take a look and see that I am obsessed:
Oh, radiant sword. Thy guiding moonlight.
By a battered buckler, defend this soul.
Light thy way through perilous tides.
Beneath the gleaming suns, below the starlit aether.
For glorious fate, she beckons for me.
For tranquil rest, awaiting me patiently.
I’m starting to think that I was an errant in a past life. Or Don Quixote. Either one.
Hey, I’m back. Has my cup of web tea gone cold yet?
A few of you who read this blog may be wondering “Jee, Dandy! Just where the hell have ya been these past few months?!” and I would respond with “That’s a damn good question. Just where have I been these past few months?!” as if I were taking the time to recall my activity during the specified span of time.
But that would be kinda stupid since I already know the answer to that. So I will just type that up instead rather than pretend I forgot or didn’t know.
Ya see, during the latter half of 2015, I had began to put 80% of my free time into browsing and posting on Twitter in order to form some kind of social network that revolved around a horribly botched and indefinitely postponed attempt at making a YouTube channel, which had been a bit of a kid dream of mine since my high school years. But unfortunately, life got in the way and now I have found myself completely straying from that path.
So just for convenience sake, I have decided to briefly list and provide a bit of commentary about just what the heck I’ve been getting up to that’s been preventing me from blogging, in no particular order of importance.
1: I had recently started school once again. Actually, I’d spent most of that time trying to figure out what was going on with my course. Classes were being cancelled left, right and centre, teachers and lecturers were either quitting or changing departments and elective classes were only being held at a campus located two hours away from my current one.
2: And speaking of school, I have also just recently started my final bout of work placement/experience. This time, it’s a whopping 300 hours worth of practical study within the field that’ll earn me a pass. Which means that I should totally spend all of my lunch breaks blogging again like last year!
3: My addiction to other social networking sites or “The Treacherous Twitter Saga”. I am definitely not the best at micro-managing or structuring my time when it comes to social networking. Usually, it’s a spur of the moment kind of thing for me. Part of me thought that if I stuck with Twitter long enough (And I did, long enough to amass about 300 + followers) that it would begin to pay off and that I would’ve formed a potential audience for my YouTube content. In the end, that didn’t turn out to be the case. Or maybe I haven’t put enough time into it. I dunno. Lately, I’ve just been doing other stuff during my spare time. Like …
4: Playing tons of video games. Yeah, this was something that I didn’t see coming. I thought my love of video games was slowly withering away like a once magnificent rose, leaving behind only fond memories and borderline sorrowful feelings of nostalgia. But if anything, it’s picking up. Hell, even annual generic shooterfests like the turbo-bro cult classic Black Ops 3 had me pleasantly surprised. But mainly, it’s Bloodborne that has got me absolutely captivated at the moment. Still going too, even after clocking more than 80 hours into the game! And with the upcoming Dark Souls III, Deus Ex: Mankind Divided, Star Fox Zero, Tekken 7 and basically whatever the Nintendo NX has to offer, I think my love of gaming can only reignite my inner gamer.
5: Artistic pursuits. Recently, I had gotten back into making music. Not well, however. In fact, I have come to realise that my music making software is actually very limiting and prevents me from undertaking more ambitious products. Things like the amount of effects and instruments that can be used within a track are capped, which really makes stuff like mastering a track or experimenting with sound all the more difficult. Oh, and did I mention that I make ridiculous, headache inducing glitch art now? I’d show you but I don’t want you to think that I am a loser.
6: Some idiot (me) shaved my head. Everything above is actually false. The real truth is that I have spent 99% of my waking moments in deep meditation in order to grow my hair back as fast as possible before my girlfriend comes over to visit me, otherwise she might reckon I look stupid with short hair and possibly dump me for some handsome vaporwave producer or something. You know, the ones that pretty much live like it’s still the 90s and smell like Pine-O Clean.
So yeah, that’s basically what’s been going on. I will have to check in on everyone else’s blogs and see how all my old friends are doing. I think I had like, one pal. Or at least I think they were a pal … I dunno, they were pretty rad.