Posted in adventures, Blog, culture, Daily, Diary, interest, life, Life, Love, People, personal, Personal, Personal, Thoughts, Uncategorized

By Special Occasion.

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Drawn to beacons and flames alike. 

 

Bet you didn’t think you’d see another post from me anytime soon, didja?

First of all, allow me to take this oppurtunity to wish everyone who is still onboard this derelict ship, who still follows this blog, my warmest wishes. I hope you have all been taking care of yourself and have been keeping busy in your daily lives. Since I’ve got so much love to give, I thought that it was high time that I cast some in your direction.

2017 has without a doubt been my most transformative year yet. From going back to my university to start another course to finally landing some work (Took long enough!), I’ve since been granted the peace of mind to finally go hunting high and low for the key to the next stage of my progression as a person.

That is, the quest to become a better man.

I let myself slip a little during the first couple of months of this new chapter. Weekend binges with a rowdy, ragtag band of mates filled with banter and booze consumed my interests along with hedonistic ploys centred around random roadtrips and summer flings with gorgeous goth girls (How unchaste!). As nice as beer and casual sex can be, they are certainly not the cure to a broken heart. This I found out the hard way … again. You’d think that we would learn from the mistakes we made in high school but alas, my mind is helpless to watch as my body heads in the opposite of the safest direction. (Plato’s chariot, anyone?)

No, my new quest for the remainder of this year and one coming will be centred around the formation of solid moral convictions. After countless nights spent in self reflection, ruminating in the thoughts, fears and beliefs, the reasoning behind actions and the like, it’s time to stop thinking and start acting upon my good intentions and follow my moral compass.

Practicing mindfulness and assessing myself as a person with bone crunching honesty has been quite possibly one of the most challenging endeavours I’ve had to confront. Acknowledging the fact that you’re not as effective or likeable of a person as you once thought is never an easy pill to swallow. Some of us choke on the pill and immediately try to spit it out due to the immense discomfort that comes with confronting one’s own self. However, this is a necessary step. You cannot improve without acknowledging your weaknesses. You cannot progress without focusing on your strengths. It is not possible to be a good person without being truly grateful, in general and for the oppurtunity to learn about yourself. To play with one’s delirium and confront a grizzly reality, the beast within, and severe ties with it in order to begin on the path towards a better, healthier lifestyle.

From what I can tell, people who do good are not necesaarily good. Good acts can however be a byproduct of good values. These values, from what I can tell, are far more beneficial in the long run than anything that a night of Netflix and chill can offer. Ten to thirty minutes of physical relief is all well and good but would you trade a fulfilling and life long conviction, the steadfastness and ability to be honest, generous or even grateful, for a night of cheap thrills? Of course you wouldn’t. You know the value of a good person in our society. You know the happiness and the inner peace that most of these people have present in their daily lives. You would be a fool to regard this as an arbitrary goal.

The path starts here. The road ahead is all that lies before us.

I don’t have the answers I’m looking for yet. But I am already much more content now that I have begun learning and searching. On this road to becoming better, for myself and for others.

Wishing those who celebrate Christmas a very merry one indeed and for those who do not, Happy Holidays to you. May you find a goal worth striving for in the coming year.

Safety and peace!

– Adam

 

 

 

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Posted in Anxiety, Blog, boredom, college, Daily, Diary, Funny, Health, humor, interest, life, Life, Life, Misc, Miscellaneous, Musings, personal, Personal, Personal, Thoughts, Uncategorized, Uncatergorized, Update, Web, WordPress, Writing, Youth

‘Jobless & 21’ or ‘I Did 4 Years of College in Two and a Half and All I Got Was This Lousy Beanie’

Before I start this little post, I thought I would list all of the things that I have obtained since I graduated from tertiary college back in July 2016, just so that this post doesn’t come of as entirely negative. So without further adue, the stuff which I got after I finished uni includes:

  • Two flashy certificates with wax seal stamps (A degree and a diploma)
  • A beanie from one of my colleges.
  • A four-colour pen. (The tutor had a spare)
  • An appreciation for volunteer work.
  • An apperciation for working in the social work/community development sector in general.
  • A mechanical keyboard for my shitty six year old Mac.
  • A new phone that now, is kinda useless to me for anything other than making/receiving calls.
  • A mean looking ‘Middle Eastern beard’
  • Another friend group.
  • A taste for pale ales and lagers.
  • A taste for alcohol in general.
  • Patriotism.
  • A car.
  • A black pair of super skinny jeans. (Yeowch!)
  • A fondness for the beach and the ocean.
  • Lady friends in Italy. (Thanks Instagram!)
  • Lady friends in Turkey. (Again, Thanks Insta!)
  • A license to sell/serve alcohol. (I could become a bartender maybe … ?)

I am sure there are way more but I honestly can’t think of them off the top of my head. Now then, why don’t we make it fair and list the things that I did NOT receive or obtain after my graduation?

  • A job.
  • Money.
  • A job.

Despite applying for work like mad, nothing seems to be going my way. A lot of people have told me that going back to Uni would be a waste of another two or three years and would put me at risk of being considered ‘overqualified’ for my field of choice. Of course, I would take any job at this point in time. Hence why I’ve found myself completing short course after short course to obtain some extra skills in the employability department. (License to Serve, First Aid, a course on how to make coffees/cappucinos at a bar/cafe/restaraunt, a certificate in training and assessment, etc)

People keep telling me that something must come along eventually. Let’s just hope that these people are right, and are also talking from experience.

Anyways, that’s my post for the month/year/decade. What have YOU been up to?

 

 

Posted in Blog, college, Daily, Diary, Experience, life, Life, Life, Love, lyrics, Misc, Miscellaneous, Musings, People, personal, Personal, Personal, Photography, Picture, Relationships, Romance, School, sleep, Thoughts, Uncategorized, Uncatergorized

Like the Sunshine (Two Year Anniversery on WordPress)

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Well now, this is special!

I’m posting tonight because I received a super special notification from the happy chappies at WordPress.com. Two years ago, I started this blog as a method of journaliing my musings and other ramblings as a way to manage stress. At the time of this blog’s creation, I had been faced with a lot of dreadful uncertainties that would leave me with knots in my tummy for nights on end. I had only just started my long distance relationship with an absolutely lovely girl and was afraid that we would never meet or be able to make it happen. My studies at both university and a community college had reduced me to a state resembling that of a nervous wreck; hair tearing and all.

The year after, my relationship had become stable. My classes had become manageable. I had begun my student work placement and had learnt more than I ever did in high school. About life, about love and about the world beyond high school. For once, my life seemed right. I was at peace.

And now, in 2016, many things have changed. My graduation, the fated meeting in Lover’s Arrival, the beginnings of my search for employment, the collapse of my relationship …

All of it proof that we are forever learning by experience. That the wildest and most unexpected things can happen, even when plans have been made and are seemingly set in stone. Life is what happens when you are busy making plans. And that, Mr. Lennon, is something that we can both agree on. Being the tired man that I am, i am not sure what I am supposed to be writing anymore here. The paragraphs that come after this were actually written first. This post is a mess, chaotic, just like life. It wasn’t planned. I had a general idea and the structure of the post all in my mind and then as I began to write it down, different thoughts flooded into my mind and altered those plans. Or took a sledgehammer to them. Completely.

This might sound awfully corny but I gotta write it …

In the past two years, I have become rather fond of moths. Now, I never liked moths as a kid. I always thought they were grotesque and wouldn’t think twice about shooing them away with a dainty wave of the hand. They were ugly to most people. Undesirable. And I often considered myself to be of a similar calibre. But all it took was one mental comparison, one alternate trail of thought, and my love for them began to blossom. There are those in the world that see beauty where others simply cannot. Those that find something beautiful where nothing of the sort can be found and observed by the average person. And I had the pleasure of meeting a few of these cherishable souls. The absolute honor of calling one my teacher, another one my friend, my lover …

Of course, you. My readers.

These people and their stories, their wisdom, their kindness and their love formed my coccoon and now I too, have become a one of these souls.

I’d like to thank you all for reading my blog over the past two years and do hope that you stick around for another.

May all the love in the world be yours. And remember, everybody’s gotta learn sometime. 

You know which song this is going to link you to … 

(It’s 3 AM and I sure could use some sleep … )

Posted in Blog, Daily, food, life, Love, Miscellaneous, personal, Thoughts

Cooking the Noodles of Life!


My life seems to be a bit of a cycle thus far. I’ll go about my usual livelihood dabbling, meet a gnarly as heck chick, start dating said gnarly as heck chick and then part ways with them sometime after. And everytime it ends, I always find myself back at a stove, cooking my feel-good food. 
Ramem noodles! Or ‘lifenoodles’as I like to call them. 

You’d never think that any dude would be happier to be behind a stove, stirring into a boiling pot with an overhead fan blasting their ears with low pitch white noise but here I am! Indulging in the preparation of my ’75 cent per packet’ respite! 

My own noodly sanctuary! 

Posted in Blog, Daily, Diary, Funny, Holidays, life, Life, Life, Miscellaneous, Thoughts, Uncategorized, Uncatergorized

Gross Domestic Cuddles. (Happy Holidays!)

Couldn’t care less about the GDP. I only care about the GDC.

I honestly don’t know what I was thinking when I wrote that title. I thought I’d keep it anyway because not only do I like it but I feel as though my brain would overheat like a pre-2005 computer running Crysis and then proceed to liquify through my ear holes if I tried to actually muster the effort to cognitively craft a more relevant one.

I really haven’t been blogging much at all. I think I’ve written like, ten posts about the same issue but being the apologetic scrub that I am, I feel the need to say sorry a thousand more times to ward off a bitter metaphorical bludgeoning. Since the Holiday season is pretty much around the corner, I think I’ll take this opportunity to wish everyone a Happy Holidays, just in case I don’t end up blogging again in the near future due to Holidays related stuff. Or don’t blog ever again after the excruciating yet delectable death by Christmas ham.

So, Happy Holidays everyone! And in case I don’t end up chatting to you before the year is up because I’m too busy smuggling protein bars in my messenger bag or something, have a Happy New Year!

I’ll just leave you with some footage of the upcoming year …

 

This … is amazing!

Posted in Gaming, life, Misc, Miscellaneous, personal, Thoughts

So this game got me thinking …

Usually, in RPGs, you get experience points for defeating enemies. We can assume that the player character kills or ‘destroys’ these enemies to obtain these experience points. A game like Skyrim, however, would award you for completing acts like picking locks and other cool stuff.

So if real life were an RPG, would that mean that those who aren’t really up to killing other people and animals or other illegal acts are only Level 1?

Curious!

Posted in Gaming, life, Miscellaneous, Musings, personal, Reflection, Thoughts

Not Enough ‘Flashy-Go-Boom’ For Me

To say that Dandy has a short attention span would be a severe understatement. Short term goals seem to be all he is capable of completing and anything that consists of months of active labor is seemingly impossible, forcing him to either bear the heavy wooden cross as the tedium gradually drives him to a metaphorical crucifixion or to flat out quit.

And when it comes to gaming, MMORPGs are another one of those Herculean efforts that one seeks to actively avoid.

Unfortunately, when it comes to video games, a lot of people love an instant reward. They do something or that complete a mission, or even shoot another play dead, and they’re rewarded whether it be points, items, experience or a shiny medal accompanied by the gravely voice of an announcer blurting some turbo-masculine phrase slapped together to describe the mere act of killing an opponent under the smallest of alternate circumstance.

Hell, it’s why first person shooters and even mobile games are so popular these days. A player doesn’t need to invest a bunch of time into them to get anything out of it and the games usually reward the player on a rather frequent basis.

I will admit it. I am dangerously close to fitting under the category of a ‘dudebro’. You know, those gamers that love their shooters and clock in tons of time into the multiplayer aspect of things. If I were to ask myself why I found games like Call of Duty or Halo appealing, I would have to say that it’s honestly a combination of the adrenaline rush you get when you’re team is faced with adversity or the fact that everything I do seems to benefit either myself or my team in one way or another, whether it be points for assisting another team member with a kill or calling in a scorestreak. There are always points to be gained.

"As you can see, people clock quite a bit of effort into killing each other. Especially when you always get rewarded. Kinda troublesome, when you think about it ... "
“That one Killpocalypse? Yeah, I bet everyone that was in that dude’s lobby knew about it.” 

It never used to be this way, however. I was once one of those ‘grinders’ that you see playing those RPGs, clocking dozens upon dozens of hours into the game, which would eventually turn into days and then weeks. I used to religiously play games like RuneScape, DragonFable and a ton of other free-to-play role playing games that required a serious amount of grinding in order to get anywhere. Looking back, I honestly don’t know how I did it. My current self would’ve just given up after five minutes of playing and it would be left up to complete chance as to whether I would ever feel the urge to play the game again. Hell, I used to be a HUGE Legend of Zelda and Metroid fan and nowadays, I can’t even be bothered to finish any new playthroughs that I start. Oh … well, except for Super Metroid. But any Nintendo fan would understand that completely.

Although, there is one game that requires a serious amount of effort and time that I CAN, if not, actually go out of my way to play. And that game is Dark Souls.

Dark Souls is an action-RPG, so it would make sense that there would be something more flamboyant and glittery there to keep me circling about like a moth to a streetlight. The core of the game mechanics revolves around action and interaction rather than just clicking a mouse to move my character or attack targets. I move my character wherever I want him to move and I fight however I’d like to fight. None of that turn based stuff. And with the added benefit of an absolutely sublime statistics system, something that I love about RPGs in general, Dark Souls was the one game in it’s vein that I kept coming back to. It wasn’t a flashy hack-n-slash game or a first person gunfight set in the future or anything but it still kept me very entertained.

If anything, the flashiness of FPSs have spoiled me as a gamer. That’s basically what I am saying here.

And not just me but heaps of other players as well. It’s probably the reason why games in general have become more and more streamlined as the years have gone by and why cripplingly difficult and seemingly archaically designed games like Dark Souls stand out amongst the crowd.

Recently, I’ve just reinstalled Destiny. I initially panned the game for being an absolutely poor excuse for a game in general but that was probably because I didn’t play it like how it was meant to be played. I delved into it expecting some Halo-like adventure with a cooperative and competitive experience in a similar fashion but honestly, the game is more like a weird hybrid between a Borderlands-esque first person shooter role playing game and World of Warcarft. Or at least, it replicates the laters style of rewards, levels and expansion packs.

Oh well. Wish me luck. I am heading back in …