Posted in Blog, college, Daily, Diary, Health, life, Miscellaneous, personal

My Room is the Panic Room

Lately, at night, I’ve found myself succumbing to crippling anxiety which often ends up becoming a full blown panic attack. It normally starts off as I decide to get some shut eye. For whatever reason, the racing thoughts through my head seem uncontrollable and often ‘loud’ as I’m about to doze off.

Does anyone else feel this way? If you deal with anything anxiety related, would you chuck a pal some tips on how to deal with it?

I’d really appreciate any help right now. Going to bed at 2 AM on a daily basis is starting to mess me up.

Posted in Blog, Diary, life, Miscellaneous, Musings, personal, Picture

Sanctuary No More!

Oh dearie me … Back to work.

"What the hell did I do in a past life to end up finding school so difficult?"
“This knight and I are in the same predicament. Except mine is metaphorical … and he definitely looks like he’s about to cop an axe.”

The holidays are over. Gone. Two whole weeks whizzed past faster than I could get on the phone, call up a pal who’s call I missed and ask “Sure, I’d love to have Chinese tonight. What time is good for you?”

And now it’d back to what life seems to love doing to you best; crippling you with tedium, stress and a shit ton of work. Not exactly the stuff of nightmares but after spending so much time staring at a word document wondering how you’re gonna start a few thousand word report, the very concept of a Hell starts to sound like a modestly decorated, fairly priced hotel with an all-you-can-eat that actually puts out stellar meals. I mean, it’s safe for me to say at this point in time that I would do absolutely ANYTHING for just a couple more weeks away from it all. Especially since I spent the entirety of my first week off chasing up tutors and posting assignments I had no clue about. Honestly, I feel like I am about to cry.

Really, I am starting to wonder why I didn’t take that gap year …

Oh well. Guess I am going to have to endure this soul crushingly bitter winter that just has to take place during the infuriatingly tense time that is mid-year. You know, when you’re suddenly rocking this huge-ass timetable that you got given to you by your college, making you sit there and stare at it thinking “Whoa, jeez … I don’t remember having this many subjects … ”

At least this time I have come slightly prepared. As antiquated as my phone is, I have managed to load it up with a bunch of neat music making apps. The only problem is that now I have to find a concealable pair of headphones. Or earphones. Or EarPods … Yes, that’s it! EarPods!

What? Money? Damn. You talked me out of it.

Posted in Blog, Diary, Gaming, life, Poetry

The Games that Shaped Mr. Dandy: Super Metroid

Rain beats against the barren wastes 

A lonely planet touched by the shining star 

A journey back to where it all began 

A visit back, one last time. 

The fate of all kinds within one’s hands 

The isolation thick enough to choke on

Another dead end, another locked door 

But alas, keep rolling like the Morphing Ball. 

Super Metroid wasn’t the first Metroid game I had played. That goes to the title of Metroid Fusion for the Game Boy Advance. A super cool yet far more linear take on the franchise’s ‘explorative action-platformer’ roots. It wouldn’t be until my SNES fetish of my late childhood years would kick in again, driving me to try and find the games that we had kept as well as buy those that were missing in my collection, Super Metroid being one of them. It was certainly one of the best $50 notes I had ever spent but the actual journey throughout the game’s magnificent world felt absolutely priceless. Taking the expeditionary helm of feared bounty huntress Samus Aran, plunging through the seemingly alive atmospheres of Planet Zebes seemed like traversing through landscapes that were well and truly alive, despite the player sitting on the other side of the action with a controller in their hands.

" ... are you sure we can't talk this over?"
” … are you sure we can’t talk this over?”

If you ever get a chance to pick up this game, whether it be an actual physical copy, through the Nintendo Wii/Wii U Virtual Console or through other means (*cough* emulation *cough*) then I strongly recommend you sit down and have yourself a science fiction side scrolling adventure!

Posted in Blog, Diary, food, humor, Humour, life

Sendin’ Out an S.O.S!

Or more like sending out a not so anonymous text …

"Hello, operator? I'd like one large pepperoni pizza please .... "
“Hello, operator? I’d like one large pepperoni pizza please …. “

I am not sure what has come over me today, but for some strange reason I was very compelled to text and greet a few faces from the far reaches of my past. What possessed me to almost go through with such a ludicrously late and borderline creepy gesture of potentially misinterpreted goodwill? I honestly don’t know. It must be that full moon that we’re due for tonight …

What would you even say to someone you have had guff-all contact with throughout the year? And via a text too. That’s what makes it worse. Although I felt as if I had attempted to call them, that would have just made things all the more unbearably awkward because let’s face it: At the end of the day, a bad phone call is the Dandy’s metaphorical self-esteem related Achilles heel. Would it really be so bad? In a more colourful shade of logic, the answer would probably be ‘No’ with the longer runner up for the grand prize of bluntness being ‘No, it’s your own perspective that determines whether it’s awkward or not.’

But then again, one brightly lit perspective that radiates with optimism can’t speak for two people. And it normally takes two to do the conversational tango. Unless you’re like good ol’ Dandy here and can effortlessly pull off the verbal waltz with none other than his own lonely self.

There is no shame in talking to yourself, friends. It’s when you start explaining your dastardly plans in uber-precise detail to your invisible audience for exposition’s sake that you need to start worrying.

Dandy, out.

Posted in Blog, Diary, food, life, personal

Outta Whack!

“Hey, you know … I could really go for a deep dish Capriciosa pizza with extra cheese right about now.” 

“Yeah, too bad it’s 1 in the morning.” 

If that confusing little slice of dialogue wasn’t enough to paint the picture of this post’s topic, then I guess I’ll just have to come out and be upfront about the topic. Even as I wrote that, I mistook the word ‘topic’ for ‘topping’, which has only made my early morning pizza craving all the more vicious.

But seriously. It was 1 in the morning and everyone in the Dandy household seemed to be as famished as Mahatma Gandhi on a hunger strike. Sure, having lunch at 4 in the afternoon is just as bad but cut me some slack here. I find it difficult to even force myself to sleep when I am completely spent for mental and physical energy despite it being almost 8 in the morning. The birds are chirping their little warm-up vocal exercises for the day and the sun is already beaming through the curtains like my house is situated closer to our sun than Mercury.

I am really going to have to get back into working order …

Posted in Blog, Diary, Experience, life

“Nobody hits harder than life … “

Nothing like starting the New Year off with a bit of a training session! I am surprised I’ve come so far! Being able to barely make an effort to do 10 consecutive push ups a month ago to becoming the 60 push-up standard demon that I am today is just nuts! This training stuff actually works!

But now, allow me to stow away my excitement and wish you all :


Yes, and just when I had finally gotten all settled down with the usual rut of marking ‘2014’ as the year in the dates section of school papers and worksheets, the succeeding year rolls around to break me out of the Familiar Zone and cut my partially ‘slow’ self no breaks whatsoever. But enough about my personal life: Let’s talk about our fair 2014 for a bit.

For me personally, 2014 was somehow able to wind up both the soul crushingly worst and yet, most productive and character strengthening year of my life so far. Being fresh out of high school to already facing my inevitable second year of both University and TAFE studies … man, the months just flew by. In terms of my academics, I certainly performed better than I ever did in my previous two years of secondary college. But the reason why may have to wait until it’s own warranted post … and a rather lengthy one it will be, let me tell you.

Relationships ultimately seemed to crumble into indistinguishable pieces before my very eyes in what felt like a form of the most inhumane emotional torture. Slow and painful, to say the least. It felt like everyone had become a ghost or had never existed at all. And often, during times of immense heartache and sorrow, I would often find myself looking back to the burning bridge that led to the other side, where the better times were. And despite my continuous empty headed march forward, I would find myself unknowingly trudging back again, back to that land of magnets and miracles.  In all honesty, for a majority of the year (and despite being in a relationship at the time), i felt no more than alive. It was like I were living simply to exist and nothing more. Sure, I had my studies. I had my friends and I had my lover. But at the time, if they had faded into nothingness, I don’t think my excessively sedated self would’ve even picked up on it. I was sleepwalking through life. 

It eventually came to a head. What felt like years upon years of constant hurting and a seemingly unquenchable emptiness had brought me to the darkest place that we all fear to fall into.  The one place in which we wish we’d simply cease to exist rather than have our minds swallowed by the unrelenting abyss. And after spending some time in this lightless place, I had given myself two solid options :

“I could just remain here. I could just stay here and give up, like so many others have. I could potentially scar the hearts and minds of both friends and family, starring blankly at the wall as a broken soul or worse. … ”


“There is no light, but I am sure as hell that I can conjure up even the tiniest flame to guide me. I could find my way out of this place, out of this torrent of blackness, and find my old self along the way … ”

If I had of picked the first option, I might not have been around to create this blog, or write this post. 

Before I knew it, I found myself making changes and taking chances that I never ever thought that I would be capable of making. I had taken up martial arts again with a friend that I met from class. I was able to actually live to see the day where I’d be able to spend time with my ENTIRE family and most of my friends. I would meet an absolutely wonderful girl who would go on to reach out and help pull me through the tides and to the shore, despite owing me nothing.

And last, but not least, I would start this WordPress blog. I would read the wonderful posts of my followers and enjoy everything that they have to offer. You people would go on to unknowingly inspire me, stir up hope in my heart and show me a whole different rainbow coloured spectrum of lights to see life through. And for that, I can’t thank you enough. You are all interesting, intelligent, determined and very creative and informative people. It has been an honour, so far, to be able to both read what you have written and to have you read what I have posted.

Don’t forget to take care of yourselves and remember: When in doubt, keep pushing forward.

“We await your return, warrior.” 

– Dandy ❤

Posted in Blog, Diary, Experience, life

Coming Back to Life.

Hey hey!

I hope you are all doing rather well. And I also hope that you all had a very Merry Christmas as well. I had been meaning to try and go out of my way to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, even my WordPress followers with a little post, but then I got a little lost down the long and winding road of life. You know how it is.

So three wholes days of non-stop Christmas lunch and dinner related delicacies intertwined with running into old faces and calling up far away friends, I am finally back into the swing of things.  This post isn’t going to be long at all. Hell, I am pretty much done with writing it. I just wanted to wish everybody a bit of a late Merry Christmas and if I am unable to post during the occasion, a very Happy New Year.

Be sure to share as much moments of love and laughter with your friends and family as you can til the year’s end.

Peace, love and all the good stuff.


– Dandy ❤