Not that it should be considered as such, since everyone, their mothers and their dogs seemed to know about this one particular feature. But you know that thing that you can do with your phone on SnapChat? The one where you’re taking an ordinairy selfie only to have your recently captured picture self spewing rainbows? Well, yeah. That’s a thing. I only found out about this a week ago at a party.
“But Dandy, ya numbskull!” You wail, gork and snort. “This feature has been present in SnapChat for AGES! How could you only find out about it now?”
And that’s a darn good question, Mr/Mrs/Ms. Disembodied Voice over the Internet! But the answer is the real kicker.
It’s one word. ‘iOS7’
… well, that’s not really a word. More like an acronym. But yeah, you get what I mean.
Hey, I’m back. Has my cup of web tea gone cold yet?
A few of you who read this blog may be wondering “Jee, Dandy! Just where the hell have ya been these past few months?!” and I would respond with “That’s a damn good question. Just where have I been these past few months?!” as if I were taking the time to recall my activity during the specified span of time.
But that would be kinda stupid since I already know the answer to that. So I will just type that up instead rather than pretend I forgot or didn’t know.
Ya see, during the latter half of 2015, I had began to put 80% of my free time into browsing and posting on Twitter in order to form some kind of social network that revolved around a horribly botched and indefinitely postponed attempt at making a YouTube channel, which had been a bit of a kid dream of mine since my high school years. But unfortunately, life got in the way and now I have found myself completely straying from that path.
So just for convenience sake, I have decided to briefly list and provide a bit of commentary about just what the heck I’ve been getting up to that’s been preventing me from blogging, in no particular order of importance.
1: I had recently started school once again. Actually, I’d spent most of that time trying to figure out what was going on with my course. Classes were being cancelled left, right and centre, teachers and lecturers were either quitting or changing departments and elective classes were only being held at a campus located two hours away from my current one.
2: And speaking of school, I have also just recently started my final bout of work placement/experience. This time, it’s a whopping 300 hours worth of practical study within the field that’ll earn me a pass. Which means that I should totally spend all of my lunch breaks blogging again like last year!
3: My addiction to other social networking sites or “The Treacherous Twitter Saga”. I am definitely not the best at micro-managing or structuring my time when it comes to social networking. Usually, it’s a spur of the moment kind of thing for me. Part of me thought that if I stuck with Twitter long enough (And I did, long enough to amass about 300 + followers) that it would begin to pay off and that I would’ve formed a potential audience for my YouTube content. In the end, that didn’t turn out to be the case. Or maybe I haven’t put enough time into it. I dunno. Lately, I’ve just been doing other stuff during my spare time. Like …
4: Playing tons of video games. Yeah, this was something that I didn’t see coming. I thought my love of video games was slowly withering away like a once magnificent rose, leaving behind only fond memories and borderline sorrowful feelings of nostalgia. But if anything, it’s picking up. Hell, even annual generic shooterfests like the turbo-bro cult classic Black Ops 3 had me pleasantly surprised. But mainly, it’s Bloodborne that has got me absolutely captivated at the moment. Still going too, even after clocking more than 80 hours into the game! And with the upcoming Dark Souls III, Deus Ex: Mankind Divided, Star Fox Zero, Tekken 7 and basically whatever the Nintendo NX has to offer, I think my love of gaming can only reignite my inner gamer.
5: Artistic pursuits. Recently, I had gotten back into making music. Not well, however. In fact, I have come to realise that my music making software is actually very limiting and prevents me from undertaking more ambitious products. Things like the amount of effects and instruments that can be used within a track are capped, which really makes stuff like mastering a track or experimenting with sound all the more difficult. Oh, and did I mention that I make ridiculous, headache inducing glitch art now? I’d show you but I don’t want you to think that I am a loser.
6: Some idiot (me) shaved my head. Everything above is actually false. The real truth is that I have spent 99% of my waking moments in deep meditation in order to grow my hair back as fast as possible before my girlfriend comes over to visit me, otherwise she might reckon I look stupid with short hair and possibly dump me for some handsome vaporwave producer or something. You know, the ones that pretty much live like it’s still the 90s and smell like Pine-O Clean.
So yeah, that’s basically what’s been going on. I will have to check in on everyone else’s blogs and see how all my old friends are doing. I think I had like, one pal. Or at least I think they were a pal … I dunno, they were pretty rad.
I will admit that I am a busy man. Between trying to get Twitter famous, playing unhealthy amounts of Counter Strike and making stupid chiptune on my decrepit four year old MacBook, I haven’t really had a whole lotta time to be writing the blog posts.
So right now, while I’m in the mood, I’d like to take this chance to just sit down and catch up.
So yeah, 2016. Doesn’t feel like it’s gonna be all that different to 2015 but I’m sure you’ve seen enough of those ‘Everything is still trash’ jokes to last you for the rest of the eventual Nuclear Winter or Robot Insurrection that’ll take place in 2018. Also, nanomachines. Those will be a thing. Relax guys and gals, I know all this for a fact. Metal Gear Rising told me all about it.
But all credible predictions of future events taken from video games aside, I don’t think I will be doing anything too different to last year. At least not for the first half of it. I still gotta search for my second trial of work placement for the third year of my college course. This’ll be the home stretch and after this, I’ll be taking a break from studying for a good few months. This will be an amazing time to get back in tune with what I love doing, like talking over video games while I play them with either friends or filmed in front of a live studio audience … or YouTube. YouTube will also be good. But that brings me to another issue that I face and that issue starts with a capital M.
Money. Money is what I want. Money is what I ain’t got. Money is what I need. Money is what sets me free. I don’t got money but I certainly got love. Love love love, love is what I got.
Money is a big problem. You see, I’m a couple decades old now and apart form my few hundred hours of work experience done through college AND my countless days spent volunteering, I have yet to actually work a paying job. i don’t know what it is about volunteer work. It’s basically the same as work, except I just don’t get paid. And that’s not an issue in the slightest, I love working for no pay. But with upcoming expenditures for things like a replacement mobile phone, new desktop computer and video and audio recording hardware, I’m going to be needing a steady flow of cash. Also, gas money. Thank the ancient astronauts that built my car for putting a four cylinder in it. Although I’m still bitter that it’s not fusion powered … And that it doesn’t fire ionised particle beams from the rear to dissuade tailgaters.
Oh, you might’ve noticed that I’ve written a lot more than usual. Yeah, that’s partially thanks to this scissor switch keyboard that I managed to find. I think I bought this thing back in my early high school years and used it for MSN Messenger on the Xbox 360.
Hey, we only had one computer in the house and I wasn’t allowed on it. Leave me alone.
But all jokes aside, it’s great! There’s something about a nice heavy and clunky keyboard that reminds me of the old mechanical Apple Desktop Bus ones. Those things rocked so hard, even though they didn’t have those ‘clicky’ keys. Oh how I wish ADB could be converted to USB without a bunch of electrical engineering tier tinkering. That way, I could mash those weighty keys with my hand sanitiser cleansed fingers while I type up another storm like this one. Or write haikus. Those things are mad cool. Look, I’ll show you. Here’s one I wrote a few days ago:
I shall take flight now,
Like the brilliant falcon,
I endure the rain.
original poem do not steal
Anyways, I am going to leave you all to it. I hope you all have a wonderful week. I really should bring myself up to speed on what my fellow bloggers have been up to. I haven’t had a chance to trawl through the seemingly bugged Reader on WordPress. The one that keeps showing me the same blog entries over and over again, even after flicking a page over. Someone really should look into that. Or maybe the fault is on my end …
Hope everyone had a Happy New Year doing whatever it was they were doing and that you got to see tons of fireworks. Me? Well, there was a fire ban here so fireworks weren’t allowed. Australian summers are nuts, yo.
So it’s 2016! Another year of mystery! We’ve officially passed the mid 2010s mark and entered the second half of the decade! The Xbox 360 is ten years old and Pokemon is 20. I can already feel my hair receding!
But nevertheless, 2016 is shaping up to be a very exciting year. The next wave of mobile phone processors will be coming out so that new smartphone you got for Christmas will be obsolete in moments. No sign of hover cars though so I am not sure how I feel about that but at least we’ll get some more cool hoverboad technology. And not that cop out ‘balance board’ stuff that plague VINEs and Tumblr posts, I mean actual hovering hover boards. No wheels, just pure … hoveringness. Also, the Nintendo NX. It’ll be good to see what that is all about.
Speaking of 2016, the wonderful waifu will be coming around to visit me Down Under so I am majorly excited for that! Not sure what we’re going to get up to exactly but I do hope that a ton of travel and general hanging out is involved. You know, all the good stuff. Might also need to take her out clothes/gift shopping since I still feel like I owe her for the lack of gifts i sent her last Christmas. Do girlfriends take card?
Anyways, 2016 will be a significant year for people in one way or another. I am really hoping that a lot of people take the opportunity to try out some new stuff this year. Maybe take a gamble or two, pick up a new hobby and see how that goes … that kinda stuff. It wouldn’t hurt to try it.
Me? I’m gonna give YouTubing a shot. And finish school. My third year of college and I’m ready to tackle it head on!
I’ve encountered a lot of strange things during my casual cuisine focused expeditions. I’ve been the victim of chips that tasted like the scent of human feces, stuffed crust cheese pizzas with extra cheese and beer battered tofu. Tofu, I tell ya!
Honestly, it doesn’t sound all that special. Squid sushi, I mean.
But for some reason, it blew me away. Such a bloody obvious combination of excellence and I didn’t possess the imagination to picture it beforehand. Quite simply put, it was yummo! So next time you take the chums out for a food romp, be sure to keep an eye our for the illustrious Squid Sushi!
It has the Dandy Non-Speciifc Seal of General Excellence.