Posted in life, Music, personal

To Let Go of a Dream

As a young dude in high school, I used to flick through ‘that part’ of SoundCloud and BandCamp and desperately dream of being one of those cool dudes that wear glasses, make radical sounding dance music on the internet and have fun doing it. As silly as that might sound, I was even sillier to try it because honestly, it ended up throwing me into a huge world of hurt.

When it got to the stage that I tried making it, it never sounded good. Ever.

First I tried making criminally simple filter bathed house music. Although some of my friends really liked it, I always felt as though I could do better. Then I tried getting into ambient/drone music but really, all I was doing was messing about and improvising on a shitty iPad synthesiser with a high delay. Lately, I’ve found myself making a few vaporwave tracks in the spare five minutes I get during each night. They sound god awful but honestly, I’m just doing it to spite my lack of composing, mastering and mixing talent and knowledge.

For old time’s sake, a fellow friend and music lover of mine shot me this bloody excellent sounding vaporwave track that sounded like a ‘rebirth of French House music’, a genre that I absolutely went mad for back in the day and that got me into making music in the first place. And now, here I sit. In quite a fix, I must admit. Torn between giving it one final effort or simply letting the dream die.

That and I have no money.

"Three years of tinkering around with this crap and I honestly feel as though I've learned nothing."
“Three years of tinkering around with this crap and I honestly feel as though I’ve learned nothing.”

This stuff is seriously the bomb.

Here’s probably the closest thing I have made to a ‘good’ track



"And so, let my heart be hardened." This blog was all but abandoned, gathering digital cobwebs and whatnot, before I checked back in after the pitter-pattering of cyberrain. Or were they emails? Let this place be a beacon for my mind during my few sleepless nights.

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