Posted in Funny, Health, humor, Humour, interest, life, Life, Life, Miscellaneous, personal, Personal, Personal, Uncategorized

Snot Grott 

It’s that time of year Down Under. The warmer days suddenly depart without even leaving a letter of warning and before you can say “Wish I packed my turtleneck ….”, you’re struck by the sheer coldness of a ‘wet season’ morning. It’s enough to make one gingerly grasp onto each arm in a futile attempt to maintain a consistent body temperature and say “Yowza, this weather’s gone bowser.” 

Bowsers aside, this particular shade of weather also brings with it the cloud of metaphorical pestilence that is the quite physical and very much bacterial common cold. Your nose starts dripping like a leaky faucet, your sinuses feel like they’ve been inflated with a substance that can only be described as ‘hurting’ and your ears cave in on themselves like an unstable Dig Dug arena. 

So you can imagine how much of a Hurculean effort it was to drag myself to class on one of the coldest days to ever beat my body into a merciless temperature based submission. My flu ridden hide staggered all over the place in an attempt to actually make it from the bus, across a street and to my class without either falling flat on my puffy red face or being picked up by the police on the count of looking like a druggo. It got even worse when it came time to  try and interact with my fellow classmates. Most of them simply told me to just go home. And Jesus tap dancing Christ, I wished those poor suckers luck on trying to understand even 50% of the shit that came out of my mouth. My voice was so nasally and quiet that it felt like someone had jammed a shotgun suppressor into my mouth.

Yes, I know that wasn’t a good analogy. I regret nothing. 

“This guy obviously didn’t get the species related memo that people viruses can’t affect him. Bless his heart for wanting to fit in though.”

If you’re suffering from a cold, or anything else that is affecting your ability to make it to your painstakingly arbitrary lecture, I wish you luck. And maybe a lossange or two. You’re going to need those. 

Advertisements

Author:

Dandy, a slightly spiritual and shamelessly materialistic paradox of a person, posts a handful of meek blog entries reflecting upon his daily experiences, scatterbrained thoughts and/or all types of crazy crap.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s