But I was certainly out of my head when I realised that I had spent the past week just blankly staring at the wall.
I wish I were kidding about the metaphor, but it’s true; I have honestly never been this inactive in all my waking life. For some reason lately, all creativity or motivation to seek out new experiences and ideas has ceased. I didn’t even do my daily trawls of the WordPress Reader to comment and like posts that I felt were worth of a few words of praise or comment towards the poster. I mean, I painted a picture yesterday. Yeah, that’s all well and good but … out of an entire week, that’s not saying a lot.
This is a serious contrast to high school. Last year, no matter what day of the week it was, there was something to do. Something to study for, something to create, something to think about … doing begat doing. Whether it be dragging your suffering and leisure time thirsting friends along with you til the week’s end or studying for that next test that you completely forgot about due to that other assignment being in the way (which was normally due on the same day), it was always a time for doing. I have reached a point where I am at a loss. I would most definitely love some kind of part time work. At least then I get money to move around boxes (Which if you ask me, sounds like a complete rip off. I mean, I don’t mind heavy lifting at all.). But unfortunately I am not having much luck with that kind of stuff …
Thankfully, I am not the only one who feels this way. Despite studying as full time students through university or any other tertiary education institute, a lot of my fellow 18/19 year olds feel as though that after the next piece of assessment or essay/report is done and dusted, they find themselves sitting about and waiting until the next one. What are they doing in the fleeting days in between? Absolutely nothing. A few had even resorted to becoming YouTube regulars and just browsing a variety of makeshift tutorials and ‘B grade’ Let’s Plays. I was in the same boat as well, searching up this year’s EVO 2014 match ups for the Ultra Street Fighter IV tournament. We are all riding the rickety raft of unproductively together.
And even though I am on the boat, I still feel like I am drowning.
Thankfully, yesterday turned out to be one of my ‘good days’. Not only did I sit outside in the sun with the paint stained easel and canvas at the ready as I attempted a painting but later that evening, I found myself signing up to a dojo for Shotokan karate.
No, I don’t know myself. It just sort of happened.
It was like a scene out of that movie ‘Yes Man’. One minute I am violently slashing moody colours onto plain white with a two buck brush and the next I’m making a phone call and being told to ‘procure a gi and a pair of grappling gloves’. It was that bizarre to my introverted and procrastinating self that it almost reminded me of my early teen years, in which I was far more ‘out there’ and eager to just try anything. Perhaps that shard of my personality never really faded away to begin with … but if that is true, then just imagine how much more positive traits (And possibly bad ones) could spring up in the future. But after yesterday, I am starting to hear the golden phrase being rehearsed and tossed about my mental realm more and more.
‘Doing begets doing’.