Bet you didn’t think you’d see another post from me anytime soon, didja?
First of all, allow me to take this oppurtunity to wish everyone who is still onboard this derelict ship, who still follows this blog, my warmest wishes. I hope you have all been taking care of yourself and have been keeping busy in your daily lives. Since I’ve got so much love to give, I thought that it was high time that I cast some in your direction.
2017 has without a doubt been my most transformative year yet. From going back to my university to start another course to finally landing some work (Took long enough!), I’ve since been granted the peace of mind to finally go hunting high and low for the key to the next stage of my progression as a person.
That is, the quest to become a better man.
I let myself slip a little during the first couple of months of this new chapter. Weekend binges with a rowdy, ragtag band of mates filled with banter and booze consumed my interests along with hedonistic ploys centred around random roadtrips and summer flings with gorgeous goth girls (How unchaste!). As nice as beer and casual sex can be, they are certainly not the cure to a broken heart. This I found out the hard way … again. You’d think that we would learn from the mistakes we made in high school but alas, my mind is helpless to watch as my body heads in the opposite of the safest direction. (Plato’s chariot, anyone?)
No, my new quest for the remainder of this year and one coming will be centred around the formation of solid moral convictions. After countless nights spent in self reflection, ruminating in the thoughts, fears and beliefs, the reasoning behind actions and the like, it’s time to stop thinking and start acting upon my good intentions and follow my moral compass.
Practicing mindfulness and assessing myself as a person with bone crunching honesty has been quite possibly one of the most challenging endeavours I’ve had to confront. Acknowledging the fact that you’re not as effective or likeable of a person as you once thought is never an easy pill to swallow. Some of us choke on the pill and immediately try to spit it out due to the immense discomfort that comes with confronting one’s own self. However, this is a necessary step. You cannot improve without acknowledging your weaknesses. You cannot progress without focusing on your strengths. It is not possible to be a good person without being truly grateful, in general and for the oppurtunity to learn about yourself. To play with one’s delirium and confront a grizzly reality, the beast within, and severe ties with it in order to begin on the path towards a better, healthier lifestyle.
From what I can tell, people who do good are not necesaarily good. Good acts can however be a byproduct of good values. These values, from what I can tell, are far more beneficial in the long run than anything that a night of Netflix and chill can offer. Ten to thirty minutes of physical relief is all well and good but would you trade a fulfilling and life long conviction, the steadfastness and ability to be honest, generous or even grateful, for a night of cheap thrills? Of course you wouldn’t. You know the value of a good person in our society. You know the happiness and the inner peace that most of these people have present in their daily lives. You would be a fool to regard this as an arbitrary goal.
The path starts here. The road ahead is all that lies before us.
I don’t have the answers I’m looking for yet. But I am already much more content now that I have begun learning and searching. On this road to becoming better, for myself and for others.
Wishing those who celebrate Christmas a very merry one indeed and for those who do not, Happy Holidays to you. May you find a goal worth striving for in the coming year.
Safety and peace!